Anisa Lewis of Positive Parenting and Coaching draws on 20+ years in education – and 16 as a parent herself – makes the point that you can’t look after your children’s wellbeing if you’re neglecting your own.
In recent years, the conversation around mental health has begun to shift. As societal awareness grows, so too does the understanding of the importance of mental well-being for both adults and children. In the UK, the number of adults and young people being challenged by their mental health is increasing rapidly, it is crucial to foster an environment where open, supportive discussions about mental health are the norm.
Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, influencing our ability to handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. For children, mental health is equally important as it impacts their development, education, and overall quality of life.
In terms of young people’s mental health, we are fighting against the mindset of a community who is questioning: ‘What have they got to be stressed about or struggling with?’. However, if you take a moment to reflect, childhood is not without its stressors:
- Worrying about school or grades
- Juggling responsibilities
- Problems with friends, bullying, or peer group pressures
- Changing schools and classes, moving, or a breakdown in family relationships
- Having negative thoughts about themselves
- Body image, sexuality and fitting in
Starting the conversation
One of the most significant barriers to addressing mental health is the stigma that surrounds it.
To break down this barrier, it is essential to create an open dialogue. Begin by normalising discussions about feelings and emotions within your household. Use everyday opportunities to talk about mental health, such as discussing how your day went or sharing how you cope with stress. You can share this information in an age appropriate way, as it is not always healthy for a child to know or have the understanding of everything that is going on but by letting them in to see in a glimpse of how you are navigating the bumps in the road, you can empower your young people to try something new or to look at a situation in a different way.
For children, these conversations should be age-appropriate and straightforward. Encourage them to express their feelings and validate their emotions. Phrases like “It’s okay to feel sad” or “Everyone gets worried sometimes” can help children understand that their feelings are normal and accepted.
When your young person is experiencing heightened emotions or navigating anxiety, using the following to acknowledge how they are feeling is a powerful way to connect, we are not changing who they are or trying to fix them, we simply want them to understand them better. State: I see…, I hear… I understand… and after each of these sentence openers, say the emotions they are feeling or the reality you are seeing. You are expressing facts, not giving opinions. For example, “I can see you are angry and upset, I understand that this situation is really stressful for you and I hear what you are saying to me.”
Educating yourself and your child
Education is a powerful tool in changing the narrative around mental health. Equip yourself with knowledge about common mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress. Understanding the signs and symptoms can help you recognise them in yourself and others.
Education is a powerful tool in changing the narrative around mental health.
Signs to look out for:
- Difficulty concentrating (a change from their normal behaviour)
- Stomach aches or other physical symptoms
- Not enjoying things that used to bring them joy
- Difficulty sleeping
- Crying and big emotions showing up on a more regular basis
- Mood swings
- Changes in eating habits
- Anxious behaviour
- Becoming withdrawn
For children, use resources like books, videos, and activities designed to explain mental health concepts in an accessible way. Schools and libraries often have materials specifically created for this purpose. Additionally, there are organisations such as Mind and YoungMinds who provide valuable resources and support.
Practising self-care
Self-care is vital for maintaining mental health. Encourage a routine that includes activities which promote well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep. Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, like meditation or deep-breathing exercises, can also be beneficial.
Teach children the importance of self-care by integrating it into their daily lives. Activities such as drawing, playing, or spending time outdoors can help them manage stress and anxiety. Emphasise that taking care of their mental health is as important as their physical health.
Self-care starts with the parents and carers, you need to prioritize and role model your own rest and mental health, so that your child(ren) can see that it has importance and the benefits that come from making it a priority.
Creating a supportive environment
Building a supportive environment plays a big part in the ongoing mental well-being of you and your family. Foster relationships based on trust, empathy, and respect. Encourage open communication within your family and community. Schools, workplaces, and social groups should and do also promote mental health awareness and support systems.
Changing the conversation around mental health involves effort, education, and empathy. By normalising discussions, practising self-care, and seeking professional help when needed, we can create a culture that supports mental well-being. For both you and your child, understanding and addressing mental health is a journey that requires patience and persistence. Together, we can work towards a society where mental health is openly discussed, supported, and prioritised.
